Keeping Young the Old Fashioned Way

We live in a world obsessed with eternal youth. Over nine million Americans contribute billions of dollars each to year to the Anti-Aging Industry. From anti-aging creams to plastic surgery, we'll do anything to retain the appearance of our halcyon youth. This crazed obsession, which can take a nasty toll on our health, has left me wondering: How can we stay young naturally? (Not that aging should be such a taboo activity anyway.) So that being said, I've done a little digging for you all, and here are three natural keys to the fountain of youth.

The Beatles put it best when they said, "All You Need is Love." (Please ignore the obvious amount of work that Mr. McCartney has had done.) In a series of studies conducted at the HeartMath Institute, a correlation has been found between DHEA (the "anti-aging" hormone) and feelings of love and compassion. In one group of 30 volunteers, DHEA levels were increased 100 percent when doing a series exercises developed to feel love at will over an extended period of time. And yes, it is greater to give than to receive. According to "The Health Benefits of Love" by M. Langton, the same study claimed that "showing support and affection for loved ones seems to slow the aging process even more than receiving love does." So there you have it, one more reason to buy your girlfriend bar of Sweet Earth Chocolate and a Dreamsacks dress from Bambu Batu.

We all know that music seems keeps musicians young (or immature... or maybe they just die young...) Either way, studies with senior citizens have shown that learning to play music and participating in performances not only gives them a sense of community by eliminating feelings of loneliness; it decreases levels of stress and anxiety and increases the production of HGH (the human growth hormone) which can increase energy levels, decrease physical signs of aging, promote sexual function (WOOHOO) and relieve physical pain. Maybe this is where I should take back my comment about Pauly's plasitic surgery? Recorders are cheap and they last longer than a bottle of some weird chemical cream. Go learn a tune and drive your neighbor crazy. When they complain, point out your smooth skin and virility!

Cliche? Maybe. True? Definitely. Laughter is the best medicine. Making you feel like a member of the Tuck Family is just one more way laughter and humor can work to improve quality of life. There are several physical, physiological and psychological benefits of laughter that relate directly to staying youthful. Laughter can significantly reduce the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline. Physically, laughter can improve circulation and cardiovascular strength, work several major muscle groups including core and leg muscles, improve the immune system and lower blood pressure. According to Johns Hopkins University, humor during instruction can help in retaining information, and can improve mental alertness and creativity; all things that can put a spring in your step.

So, what if you were to wake up every morning and have a different de-aging routine? What if, instead of: wake up, put on creams, go to the dermatologist to get your skin burned off, read magazine articles on looking younger, buy something at Forever 21, take a pill, put on more creams and go to bed, you: wake up, kiss something, even if it's your dog, sing a tune, read a joke, do a friend a favor, buy a record (at a local record store, of course) go to a comedy club, on a date, and then take that date back to your place to listen to the aforementioned record? I mean, I know it's crazy...