Hung Over Daze

Welcome new Poly students. You'll find SLO won't always be this hot. You will find that all of the bars on Higuera street will be crowded, that locals aren't too fond of you, and for the entire duration of your stay here, there will be no parking, anywhere, ever.

A week or so back, Mr. Hornaday wrote a little something on feeding your brain the right foods. As we all know, you can eat healthy all you want, but, when you're a fresh fish, regular hangovers are as common as syphilis in Isla Vista. I attended a wedding last night, and am feeling a bit off kilter myself. (hangover off kilter, not syphilis ....) So I got to thinking, what IS a hangover exactly? I've heard different stories; dehydration, sleep deprivation, blood sugar imbalances, etc. But what goes on in your body when you're hung over? I thought, maybe if we all knew, we'd collectively drink a little less (thereby leaving alcohol alley a bit less crowded, AND helping you, the new student, keep yourself in tip top studying shape.)

• Veisalgia, or a hangover, comes from the Norwegian word for "uneasiness following debauchery" (kveis), and the Greek word for pain (algia). I'm sure we're all familiar with the symptoms. Two of the most notable ones are dry mouth and dehydration. See, that second forty of Mickey's goes through you quickly, because alcohol consumption suppresses Vasopressin (the anti-pee- your pants-hormone produced in the pituitary gland.) Because of this effect, your kidneys send water directly to you bladder, as opposed to reabsorbing it in to the body. For every 250 ml of Mickey's you consume, you will expel four times as much water. Hence the dehydration.
• Beer before liquor... There's a reason for this old, and wise adage. Different alcohol's contain different levels of congeners, or the byproduct of the fermentation process. The darker you drink of choice (red wine and bourbon, for example,) the more congeners it contains, and the worse your hangover will be. Additionally, mixing different levels of these toxins will result in a compromised ability to process them. Which is why you puke purple when you've had a glass of cab, two Manhattans, a shot of whiskey and some Guinness. Beer speeds up the effects of booze on the body, so when you drink that Mickey's BEFORE your Franzia, you can't keep up with the rate of intoxication. Besides just increasing your chances of winding up naked on the frat house lawn, this has negative effects on the kidneys, liver, and bladder.
• This one may get a bit technical, so bare with me. When you drink, your liver produces an enzyme to break down the booze. The process of breaking down creates a very toxic byproduct called Acetaldehyde. This is actually what causes that headache. In moderation, your body can quickly rid itself of the nasty stuff with a chemical called glutothione and an enzyme called acetaldahyde dehydrogonese. To put it in simpler terms, the acetaldahyde is the initial first two or three zombies of the zombie apocalypse, and the glutothione and acetaldehyde dehydrogonese, are your friends with machetes. But, you only have so many friends with machetes. When you run out (and continue to drink) the poison zombies will eat your brain and give you a headache in the morning.
  
• Ever feel pretty tired when you're hung over? It's because alcohol suppresses glutamine, your body's natural stimulant. During sleep, after a night of heavy drinking, your body will over produce glutamine to make up for the suppression of it earlier in the night, leaving your mind to wander and keeping you up thinking about strange things, like how Noah and Tron are similar for example.
  
• Oooof, and then you and your roommates had to draw straws for who had to clean to toilet...
  Alcohol is absorbed directly through your tum tum. Because of this, the cells that line the stomach may become irritated. (does your tummy huwt?) Booze also creates hydrochloric acid in the body. When this happens, your stomach will send a message to your brain saying that what's in your stomach is hurting you resulting in vomiting. This same irritation is what causes nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, and good old diarrhea the next day.

There are plenty of wives tales about hangover cures: greasy foods, spicy foods, etc. There are a few guaranteed hangover cures, and they're fairly obvious. Vitamins, juice, water, eggs, bananas and aspirin are all great reliefs to your suffering. Good music can help too. But really, the first cure is prevention. Don't be an idiot, drink moderately. Try and limit it to four for the whole night, drink water, eat food, DON'T play beer pong (that's just gross... it's not even good beer) and drink as infrequently as possible. This will keep your brain sharp and your pocket book full. That way, you can come shop here, at Bambu Batu. Fun facts provided by Discovery Health.

Song of the day "Alcohol" The Barenaked ladies